Thoughts
by Darkness's Angel
Summary: Sometimes she thinks of him.


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Thoughts

Summary: Sometimes she thinks of him.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related.

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Sometimes she thinks about how they met.

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All the compartments had been full, and Narcissa didn't have the desire to go sit with her elder sisters, so she had walked in clumsily. The compartment held a boy around her age. He was her height, with black, messy hair that framed his face. His face was pale, and had an emotionless look to it. It wasn't until she looked into his eyes, did she realize she had been staring.

"Hi," she said in a small voice.

He inclined his head towards her, letting Narcissa know he had heard her.

"Umm, do you mind if I sit here? All the other compartments are full.." she trailed off.

"No, you may stay," he stated.

Narcissa sat across from the boy, and looked around the room. The boy had gone back to reading, and Narcissa was bout to go mad. She hated the stillness.

"What is your name?" she questioned, breaking the silence.

Looking up from his book, he met Narcissa's eyes. "Severus Snape," he answered flatly, "and yours?"

"Narcissa Black," she confirmed.

He went back to reading his book, giving the impression that he didn't really care at all, and only asked her out of curtsy. She was irritated of course. She had never met a boy like this, that was for sure.

Sighing, she turned her attention towards the window. It was going to be a long trip.

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"Are you just going to sit there and do nothing?" she asked him finally, about a half an hour later.

"No," he muttered back, "I'm going to sit here and read."

"What are you reading anyways?" Narcissa inquired, ignoring his response.

"Nothing that you would be interested in," he retorted.

"How do you know?" she countered.

"How do I know what?"

"How do you know I wouldn't have any interest in what you are reading?" Narcissa repeated.

Severus was quiet for a moment. "I just do," he said.

Narcissa smiled.

"What are you smiling about, Narcissa?" he questioned.

"You know, I have this strange notion that you and I are going to get along very well, Severus," she replied.

"And why is that?" Severus replied, curiosity evident in his voice.

Narcissa just smirked, tilting her head, and then turned away from him, leaving the boy to wonder just what he had gotten himself into.

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Sometimes she thinks about when they became friends.

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Narcissa walked into the Slytherin Common Room after Charms. She had a bit of studying to do for Potions the following day, and headed over to one of the tables. Setting her stuff down, she opened her potions book, and started to read.

She was so concentrated on her studying, she didn't notice Severus Snape walking down from the Boys Dormitory. He watched her curiously. He wasn't the first to notice that Narcissa Black was not like any of the other Slytherin first year girls.

Sitting himself opposite of her, he continued to stare at her, waiting for her to notice. When she finally did, her eyes widened.

"Wha, What do you think you are doing?" she asked, titling her head towards him.

"Watching you," he replied honestly.

Narrowing her eyes, she replied, "Why?"

"Because I chose to do so," he answered, smirking at her.

"Why must you be so annoying?" she questioned, slamming her potions book shut, "You weren't like this on the train."

"On the train I was preoccupied," he reminded her, "And how can you say I am annoying? You have not been in my presence enough to say so."

"It doesn't matter," she commented dryly, "You still are."

"I highly doubt that," he retorted, standing up.

"Where are you going?" she asked,.

He looked at her for a moment, then replied, "For a walk."

Severus turned on his heal, and walked out of the Common Room, before he stopped hearing her call out his name.

"Severus!" she shouted.

"Yes, Narcissa?"

"Can, I come with you?" she asked shyly, looking down at the floor.

Severus's lips twitched upwards, and he replied, "I suppose so, if I'm not too annoying for you."

Narcissa smiled up at him, then the two headed outside.

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Sometimes she thinks about when he first kissed her.

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Narcissa was irritated to say the least.

To be honest, irritated was an understatement.

She had heard from her sister Bellarix, who heard from Crabbe, who had witnessed the scene between Potter, Severus and that annoying mud blood, Evans, that seemed to best her in every subject, that it appeared that Severus might have a crush on the mudblood.

In effect, Narcissa was not happy.

Throwing the portrait open, she rushed in. Seeing Severus in the corner reading some dark arts book, she headed towards him, and stopped right in front of him.

Calming, he marked his place, and set the book down. "Is there anything I can do for you Cissa," he drawled.

Glaring at him, she replied icily, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"That you fancy Potter's Mudblood," she answered, folding her arms.

Severus looked at her, surprise filling his eyes. He didn't reply.

Letting out a shriek, Narcissa, turned around quickly, and stomped up the stairs, pointedly refusing to look at her friend.

"That no good, dirty, mudblood-loving, vile, little, greasy, filthy, bloody-"

"Are you _ever _going to end that sentence, Narcissa?" he older sister Bellatrix taunted, looking down at one of her nails.

"Sod off Bella," Narcissa said, walking into the bathroom, "Don't you have your own room to go to?"

"Aww, is Lil Cissy upset because Snape wants the Gryffindor Mudblood Princess instead of her?" Bella teased.

"I do not fancy Severus," Narcissa retorted through gritted teeth. She always hated how her sister would chose to taunt every little thing she did.

"I never said you _fancied_ Snape, I just merely suggested that you might be jealous because of his little thing for Evans," Bellatrix replied, spitting out the last word, "So you do fancy him?"

"Go away Bella," Narcissa yelled through the door.

Bellatrix sighed, smirking towards where her sister was. "Consider this payback for that little stunt you pulled last time I saw Lestrange."

With that, she left the room.

Narcissa quietly crept out of the bathroom ,and retreated to her bed. She fell asleep within minutes, only to be woken up, sometime later by a soft knock on the door.

"Narcissa."

She rolled over, and her eyes fluttered open. Blinking rapidly she noticed Snape slowly entering the room.

"What do you want?" she called out icily, remembering why she was mad at him in the first place.

Sighing, he sat beside her on her bed, pulling the curtains around them. Narcissa turned back over, burying her face into her pillow.

"Why are you mad at me, Cissa?" he asked, peering down at her.

Groaning into the pillow, she shook her head.

"Does that mean you're not going to tell me, or that you aren't mad?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"The first one," came her muffled response.

Snorting lightly, he laid back onto her bed, hiding a smirk. "Cissa, Cissa, Cissa, when are you going to learn?"

Looking up, she glared at him. "Learn what?" she huffed.

"Learn you can't stay angry at me," he replied, putting his arms behind his head, and closing his eyes.

"We'll see," she muttered, laying her head back down. A second later, her head shot up , and looked over at her counterpart.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, looking at him as if he had grown another head.

"What does it look like," he replied, a smirk gracing itself on his face.

"You are not sleeping in my bed," she stated, now fully sitting up, folding her arms across her chest.

Severus didn't say anything, though Narcissa could have sworn his smirk widened.

Forming an idea in her head, she discarded the fact she was still angry at him. Narcissa put her hands on his side, and pushed him off the bed. He fell to the floor with a large thump.

Severus glared up at her from off the floor, as Narcissa laughed at his expression.

"That was uncalled for," he murmured, standing up, "Such a foolish, little girl."

"I can still hear you, you know," Narcissa stated, tilting her head.

"Does this mean, you aren't angry any more?" he asked, leering at her.

Narcissa pulled the curtains back around her bed, and said, "Absolutely not. I momentarily forgot."

"Will you at least tell me why you're angry?" he questioned.

Narcissa stayed silent.

"Narcissa," he said again, "Please? I really do hate it when you're mad at me."

Inhaling sharply, she crossed her arms. "I suppose I could tell you," she affirmed quietly.

Snape raised his eyebrows at her. "Do continue, Black," he said.

Scowling at him, she shook her head, "Don't call me that, Snape."

"Are you going to tell me why your angry or not?" Severus repeated again exasperatedly.

Narcissa glared, and turned away. 'Why should I? You're such an intolerable, insufferable-"

"Narcissa."

"Remorseful, pathetic, egotistical, sexist-"

"Narcissa," Severus said a little bit louder.

"Despicable, disgraceful, immature-"

Whatever else she was going to call him was lost on Severus. He twirled her around, and as her eyes widened in response, he crushed his lips against hers.

Narcissa stiffened for a moment, then melted into the kiss.

It was everything that she had hoped it would be. It made her blood run cold, and chills run down her spine. She couldn't get enough of him, yet feared she already had.

When they finally pulled away, due to lack of breath, he smirked down at her, and she smiled back, that was until she remembered why she had been angry with him in the first place.

Glowering at him, she folded her arms across her chest. "I thought you liked Evans?"

Severus smirked even wider. "Well she pretty for a mudblood," he commented, then adding thoughtfully, "but I like blondes much better."

Narcissa smiled shyly, and let her arms hang loosely at her sides. He walked closer to her, and slid an arm around her waist, and brought his face up to hers. "Now what was it you were saying? I believe you left off at immature," he stated, resting his forehead against hers.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Severus," Narcissa replied, "I think all those fumes from your potions have been getting to you."

"You know that was almost funny Cissa," he countered dryly.

Grinning, she leaned up and kissed him softly. "What was it you were saying?" she asked, laughing silently at his bemused look.

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Sometimes she thinks about when they first found out the news.

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She was a wreck to say the least.

Her blonde hair whipped around her, and her robes billowed out. Her eyes were neutral, but if you took a closer look, then you could see the panic held within them.

Busting open the door, she entered the Slytherin Boy's Dormitories. Setting herself down on her boyfriend's bed, she felt the rush of sadness overcome her.

A few minutes later, the door opened softly, making Narcissa look up. Tears were already rolling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong Cissa?" Severus asked, setting his books aside. He sat down on his bed beside her, and pulled her into an awkward hug.

"The letter," she said, her voice hoarse from crying, "Mother sent me a letter."

Severus almost immediately froze. He barely heard himself ask her what was in it.

She looked down, and turned away from him. "I'm to be married," she stated calmly.

"What?"

"Father has already chosen. Because of Andromeda's choice of husband, he worried that I would make a similar mistake. Bella already is engaged to Lestrange, who father finds worthy," she explained.

Severus nodded in understanding. He remembered when Andromeda had run off with that mudblood Ted Tonks only some time ago. "Who?"

At this, he felt her stiffen. "Lucius Malfoy," was the name that dropped from her lips.

If he hadn't of been sitting down, Severus would have fallen. Lucius Malfoy? Was her father insane? He was one of the highest ranking death eaters. In a matter of time, he would probably be in Voldemort's inner circle.

"It'll be okay, Narcissa," he soothed, rubbing her arm lightly.

"How can you say that? Don't you know what this means?" she shrieked at him.

At his silence she continued.

"I can't be with _you _anymore," she said in a quiet voice.

He hadn't thought of that.

Severus tightened his arms around her. "It'll be okay," he whispered.

"No it won't," she argued, half-heartedly.

Severus kissed her forehead.

Narcissa looked up at him, straight into his eyes. "I may have to marry Malfoy, but I will always be yours," she said.

Severus grave her a rare smile. "I know, Cissa," he replied, kissing her softly, "I love you."

"I love you too."

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Sometimes she thinks about her wedding.

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Adjusting her veil, she looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled falsely. This was the beginning of her new life, her life as Narcissa Bla-

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Narcissa Malfoy.

I won't be a Black anymore, she mused.

Sighing, she turned back to the mirror, putting the final touches on her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dark figure standing in the center of the room.

"I didn't think you would make it," she called to him.

"You know I wouldn't miss it," he replied.

"If I was you, I don't think I could stand to watch it," she stated.

"I'm only doing it for you, Cissa," he affirmed.

"I still love you, you know that."

"I know," he said, "and I love you too."

Standing up, Narcissa twirled around, her dress flowing with her. "What do you think?" she asked.

"I think you look beautiful," he answered honestly.

She smiled, and nodded her head. "I don't want to do this, you know."

"I know," he agreed.

Taking her by the hand, Severus led her over to the door. He kissed her lips tenderly, then pulled away. "I'll be watching you," he said, then Severus walked out of the door.

Later on, as Narcissa stood next to Lucius, her eyes drifted to over to Severus. As if he could feel her watching him, he lifted his head, and their eyes met.

"Do you take this man to be you lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forth, to love and obey as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," she replied, her eyes never leaving Severus's.

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Sometimes she visits him.

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The gate closed with a soft clank. Her old, tired eyes looked at the trail ahead of her, as she started down it. It was the first time she had been able to bring herself here in a long time.

Finding what she was looking for, the elderly woman kneeled down, and closed her eyes. Memories of lifetimes ago came back to her, flooding her mind. Images or brief flashes of him haunted her dreams.

"We never truly did ever say a proper goodbye, now did we," she spoke softly, "I wasn't there when it happened, and because of that, I have never really gotten over the guilt. You always knew though, you always knew I loved you, even after all those years. I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I didn't want them that way, but you knew that too didn't you? I never could keep anything hidden from you, still can't."

Brushing away some tears, she continued, "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I never forget you, and that I still love you, and I know that some how we will see each other again, I can feel it. I think for now, though, for now I need to say goodbye, let go of some of this pain within my heart. I know that most of it will never truly fade though. I'll always remember."

Her hand brushed over the letter on the stone, letters that spelled out his name. Standing up, she turned around and walked away, and as she got to the gate, she passed a glance over her shoulder, and for the first time in a long time, she smiled.

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Sometimes she still thinks of him.

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Author's Note - So how was that? Alright, for all of those waiting for the update for Unyielding Love, I am sorry to say that the chapter is not done yet. Real life has gotten somewhat complicated, but it is sorting itself out. I hope to get the next chapter done very soon, so be patient with me, lol. Hope you all enjoyed this. Please review and let me know what you think.


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